When you watch a happy family enjoying shopping or watching a movie , we may feel like ‘Wow, look at them. They are so happy’. Often we feel the same about ourselves too. Like we are good. We are making some good memories. And in those happy moments, we may feel so proud of the lives we have created for us and our family. The thing about happiness is they just don’t last. Cruel isn’t it? Even a little jape made by any outsider or by someone in your family may spoil the whole balance of your family. And when there is no external factor, sometimes our own inner turmoil may affect the happiness of the whole family.
Mostly, the inner thoughts impact women more. This indirectly makes women the problem-makers in a family. The main reason being women are over-thinkers and more sensitive. Another factor being the fact that women are providing more in a family – be it in raising children or cooking or cleaning – in addition to regular jobs in case of working women. These are ingrained deep into the minds of people and that cannot be changed, even though some positive changes can be seen nowadays. Most women never complained in the older generations like our mothers and grand mothers, but today its not the same. Some call it equality, others may call it feminism. The same way a loving husband who helps his wife in household chores is seen as the ideal man by some, and a good-for-nothing-fella by some others.
Coming back to the topic, over-thinking in women may just strike a chord unexpectedly. You are perfectly happy in your life, doing all your chores responsibly and even your husband is contributing as much as he can. All of a sudden you feel as though he can do something more right? Why is the child being so un-cooperating? Why should I be the one to solve his/her tantrums always? Why am I supposed to solve everything for everyone? Its like I’m living for making others’ life comfortable? Who will make my life comfortable? This saga of thoughts may continue to result in fights between couples who were perfectly in love an hour ago. For some it may dangerously lead to thoughts like ‘I am so worthless. Nobody loves me. Why should I keep on living? ‘ . The one thing about our minds – its a dreadful master and a faithful servant.
Most of the women dealing with depression came all this way. I think we just need to show the red signal to our thoughts when it goes down that dangerous path. Its difficult, I know. But definitely not impossible. Atleast we need to divert our thoughts – take up some of our old hobbies, read a book, hum a song. Take a piece of paper and jot down the things around you that make you happy. List out the name of persons who genuinely loves you, even though you may feel like they don’t. Take a break from all the chaos when it becomes too much. Go shopping alone, go to a beauty salon and get your hair done – You’ll definitely feel better. When nothing works, go hug your mother. It all becomes better then. Now you know how your child feels when he/she clings on to you. I’m sure you’ll feel double the energy in doing all those tiring things for your child. Also remember how much your husband cared when you were having the baby. That alone will erase all the hard feelings for him. Converse with love and I’m sure everybody will understand you.
Just put all the negative thoughts that monotony brings into a hypothetical trash box and throw it away. All these are fool proof methods – tried and succeeded by so many people. So, its all about your mindset. Nothing about life is monotonous, we just need to add the colors ourselves. Colors of love, passion, happiness and gratefulness.